1. The definition of Trauma 

When we think of Trauma, we think of big “T” trauma only, that is caused by extreme events, like nature disaster, war, sexual abuse or rape. But trauma happens also because of the absence of things that should have happened, like attunement and connection to the closest caretaker during childhood.

The event can be minor from the adult perspective, but if there were not an attuned parent that was holding space for a child to co-regulate, then the child was left alone to deal with the world. 

Here are great quotes on definition of Trauma: 

“Trauma is not what happens to us, but what we hold inside in the absence of an empathetic witness.” ~ Peter Levine

“Trauma is an inability to inhabit one’s body without being possessed by its defenses and the emotional numbing that shuts down all experience, including pleasure and satisfaction. “ ~ Bessel van der Kolk

“Trauma is a psychic wound that hardens you psychologically and then interferes with your ability to grow and develop. It pains you and now you’re acting out of pain. It induces fear and now you’re acting out of fear. Trauma is not what happens to you, it’s what happens inside you as a result of what happened to you. Trauma is that scarring that makes you less flexible, more rigid, less feeling and more defended.”~ Gabor Mate

Trauma is not the same as emotional overwhelm and stress of daily life. Trauma brings actual changes to the body, nervous system and psyche.

So there are different types of Trauma: 

1. Shock Trauma (Critical Incident) – Natural Disaster, Sexual Abuse, War
2. Developmental Trauma
3. Trans-generational Trauma

2. How to recognise Trauma 

There is always a different degree of trauma symptoms: 

Severe Symptoms: PTSD, Nightmares and night terrors, Hyper-arousal, Panic attacks, anxiety and phobias, Flashbacks, Inability to function, Depression, Suicidal thoughts. 

Distractive Behaviour: Addiction (Alcohol, Drugs, Sex, Shopping, Gambling)

Psychosomatic illnesses: headaches, migraines, neck and back problems, chronic pain, asthma, skin disorders, digestive problems, immune system. 

Blockages in Life without understanding why: in Relationships, Self-expression, Shame, Procrastination. 

And here are hallmarks of Trauma: 

• Trauma creates a disconnection from yourself, your value, your feelings, your body, other people and the world
• Trauma shapes your view of the world, causing a constriction
• Trauma makes it difficult to be in the present moment
• Trauma changes your nervous system
• The person is in a permanent defensive mode even there is no danger 

How to understand if you had trauma:

Take the Adverse Childhood Experience QUIZ, that will give you a score, that you can use to understand what to heal. 

Here are key areas of experiences that cause trauma: 

– Abuse (Physical, Emotional, Sexual) 

– Neglect (Physical, Emotional)  

– Household Dysfunction (Mental Illness, Incarcerated Relative, Mother treated violently, Substance Abuse,  Divorce) 

 Each of 10 categories gives a score of 1. This score can show you where and how much healing is needed for you.